Sex-Drive Killer: Stress
Some people do many things well when
they're stressed. Feeling sexy usually isn't one of them. Stress at
work, home, or in your relationships can happen to anyone. Learning how
to handle it really helps. You can do a lot of it yourself, and a
counselor or doctor can also help.
Sex-Drive Killer: Partner Problems
Problems with your partner
are among the top sex-drive killers. For women, feeling close is a
major part of desire. For both sexes, watch for fallout from fights,
poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other trust issues. If it's
tricky to get back on track, reach out to a couples counselor.
Sex-Drive Killer: Alcohol
A drink may make you feel more open
to sex. But too much alcohol can numb your sex drive. Your being drunk
can also be a turn-off for your partner. If you have trouble drinking
less, seek help.
Sex-Drive Killer: Too Little Sleep
If your sexual
get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you're not spending enough time in bed. Do
you go to bed too late or rise too early? Do you have a sleep problem
like trouble falling or staying asleep, or a condition such as sleep
apnea? Anything that messes with a good night's rest can mess with sex.
Fatigue saps sexy feelings. Work on your sleep habits, and if that
doesn't help, talk to your doctor.
Sex-Drive Killer: Having Kids
You don't lose your sex drive
once you're a mom or dad. You do lose some time to be close, though,
with kids under foot. Hire a babysitter to nurture some time to be
partners as well as parents. New baby? Try sex during nap time.
Sex-Drive Killer: Medication
Some drugs turn down desire. They include some of these types of medications:
- Antidepressants
- Blood pressure medications
- Birth control pills (some studies show a link; others don't)
- Chemotherapy
- Anti-HIV drugs
- Finasteride
Switching
drugs or dosages may help -- ask your doctor about that and never stop
taking any medicine on your own. Tell your doctor, too, if your sex
drive stalls soon after you start taking a new drug.
Sex Drive Killer: Poor Body Image
Feeling sexy is easier if
you like how you look. Work on accepting your body as it is today, even
if you're working to get in shape. Feeling good about yourself can put
you in the mood. If your partner has low esteem, assure them that
they're sexy.
Sex-Drive Killer: Obesity
When
you're overweight or obese, desire often dims. It could be that you
don't enjoy sex, can't perform like you want to, or are held back by low
self-esteem. Working on how you feel about yourself, with a counselor
if needed, may make a big difference.
Sex-Drive Killer: Erection Problems
Men with ED (erectile
dysfunction) often worry about how they will be able to perform
sexually, and that worry can drain their desire. ED can be treated, and
couples can also work to keep it from affecting their relationship
Sex-Drive Killer: Low T
The "T" hormone, testosterone, fuels
sex drive. As men age, their T levels may drop a bit. Not all lose the
desire for sex as this happens, but some do. Many other things -- from
relationships to weight -- also affect a man's sex drive and
testosterone levels, so there's not a one-size-fits-all answer for every
man.
Sex-Drive Killer: Depression
Being depressed can shut off
pleasure in many things, including sex. That's one of many reasons to
get help. If your treatment involves medication, tell your doctor if
your sex drive is low, since some (but not all) depression drugs lower
sex drive. Talk about it with your therapist, too.
Sex-Drive Killer: Menopause
For many women, sex drive dims
around menopause. That's partly about symptoms such as vaginal dryness
and pain during sex. But every woman is different, and it's possible to
have a great sex life after menopause by tending to your relationship,
self esteem, and overall health.
Sex-Drive Killer: Lack of Closeness
Sex without feeling close can slay desire. Intimacy is more than just sex. If your sex life is idling, try spending more non-sexual
time together, just the two of you. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Find
ways to express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild
your sex drive.
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